3: Wednesday Media Release – National Family Week
Decide – Don’t Slide
Helping couples make a good choice and decreasing pressure on the state
The Relationships Foundation is calling for government support for Couple Relationship Education (CRE). Investing £10 million in educating couples starting out could reduce the billions of pounds spent when things go wrong. Many excellent organisations offer support for those couples experiencing difficulty, but there is very little work done in advance to prevent couples reaching the point where they need counselling.
Sliding v Deciding
How relationships form is critical to how they function, develop, survive, and indeed thrive. Options can be curtailed even before a clear decision is made, because couples slide through, rather than decide upon, relationship transitions (eg, sexual involvement, pregnancy, cohabitation, marriage). Sliding results in relationship inertia, often meaning couples remain in unhealthy, or even unsafe relationships. CRE seeks to teach individuals to slow down in relationships; to actively and self-consciously make decisions, before committing too far, and losing choices.
Couple Relationship Education (CRE) is a simple solution to a massive problem. It’s not rocket science, nor will it save every family, but it does work. Relationships are vital to our wellbeing – increasing health, happiness and life expectancy. But relationships are fragile, easily broken and under pressure in our busy individualistic society. When they go wrong the private and public costs are high. As is so often the case – prevention is better than cure. 10 hours of training and support could make the difference between success and failure for some couples. When it comes to one of the biggest decisions of our lives – who we want to spend our lives with – we are often ill-prepared. A quarter of those getting married each year receive some form of marriage preparation, but most only meet for two hours to discuss the service. The figures for those cohabiting are harder to obtain, but are certainly less.
The most comprehensive review of CRE to date found that, ‘the average person who participated in a premarital prevention program was better off after the program than 79% of the people who did not receive a similar educational experience.’1
Researcher Peter Lynas commented: ‘It’s basic common sense. Most people go to pre-natal classes before they have a baby because it is a new experience for them. It should be the same for couple relationships. So many people don’t have a model of a stable couple relationship. At a course they can discuss their expectations, whether they hope to have children, what to do when they argue and talk about money. This forces people to make conscious decisions rather than sliding into situations.’
Peter Lynas continues: ‘Relationships Foundation would like to see much more government investment in third sector organisations to see CRE made more widely available. Studies in the US have shown a return for government of $1.85 for every $1 spent on screening and empirically supported marital therapy; and for health insurers, a return over 12 months of $1.48 for every $1 spent on screening and treatment of marital distress. The government picks up the tab when things go wrong – it seems wiser to try and prevent problems arising.’2
Notes: Relationships Foundation have recently researched the effectiveness of Couple Relationship Education. The findings will be launched in a report next month.
For information on the cost of relationship breakdown see When Relationships Go Right/ Go Wrong.
1. Carroll and Doherty, ‘Evaluating the Effectiveness of Premarital Prevention Programs: A Meta-analytic Review of Outcome Research’ in Family Relations, 2003, Vol 52, No 2, 105-118.
2. Caldwell, Wooley and Caldwell, ‘Peliminary estimates of cost-effectiveness for marital therapy’ in Journal for Marital and Family Therapy, july 2007, Vol 33, No 3, 392-405. Available at http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3658/is_200707/ai_n19435082/