In what is believed to be the first ever ‘flipping’ research pamphlet the Relationships Foundation shows that taxpayers spend £37 billion each year picking up the costs of family breakdown, more than the entire Scottish budget of £33 billion debated last week. When Relationships Go Wrong: Counting the Cost of Family Failure and its flipside, When Relationships Go Right: Enabling Thriving Lives, reflect the two sides on relationships. They form one pamphlet but depending on which end you start from you can read about the benefits of good relationships or the costs of failed relationships.
We decided to use this rather unusual style of publication because our aim is to confront the extent of failure whilst suggesting how to move towards solutions. We are not in the business of spreading doom and gloom, but neither are we naive – there is a cost to relationship breakdown and it is large – £37 billion. Only when the cost is taken seriously will people recognise how important relationships are to wellbeing and happiness. In light of this we suggest that policy-makers and implementers can, and should, make informed choices in terms of public motivation, opportunity and support which will lead to more thriving lives and reduce the costs of failure. You can begin at either end of this document but you need both views to see the whole picture.
When relationships go wrong the direct costs include tax and benefits, housing, health and social care, civil and criminal justice and education. We conservatively estimate these costs to be £37 billion or £1,171 per taxpayer every year. The direct costs of family breakdown borne by the taxpayer paint a stark picture. However, there are a number of broader losses suffered by society as a whole.
Married men earn 30-40% more than divorced men over a lifetime. Single parents are eight times more likely to be out of work and twelve times more likely to receive benefits than married parents. The sad reality is that children not raised in two parent families are 35% more likely to experience unemployment/welfare dependency. The lack of economic output and subsequent loss of tax revenue costs approximately £12-25 billion. The indirect costs of crime including damages, insurance, increased security etc, costs society around £13 billion. The increase in the number of houses required due to breakdown costs approximately £10-15 billion. Finally, there are the human and emotional costs which are impossible to calculate accurately. The government has estimated that the human and emotional costs of domestic violence are £17billion each year. This is a small subset of the emotional costs of family breakdown as a whole. Total indirect costs could easily exceed £100 billion.
There is no easy or short-term solution to relationships breakdown, but the £37 billion spent each year by the government can be reduced by supporting and encouraging relationships. Reducing pressure on relationships can ensure they work better and last longer. And prevention of breakdown is better than cure – relationships education can help.
Our new pamphlet is the latest in a series urging politicians and policy makers to take relationships more seriously. Functioning families are key to learning, capacity building, acquiring skills and providing welfare. They provide social care and support worth £50 billion a year in the UK, and family businesses generate turnover in excess of £1 trillion.
Research has shown that relationships are an essential component of wellbeing. Despite the rise in individualism, every decision we make affects someone else, and therefore our relationship with them. Our choices affect our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of others around us. As the Zulu proverb says, ‘You are a person only because of other people.’
An economic downturn will put more pressure on relationships. The temptation will be to focus on economic concerns at the expense of relationships. An example was the decision to review the extension of the right for parents of children under 16 to ask for flexible working. The crisis is an opportunity to stop and think as Lord Mandelson did. But having paused, we must reach the right conclusions. This is not the time to undermine families, they need support now more than ever. Lord Mandelson realised this and with encouragement from ourselves and others will extend flexible working in April 2009.
Spending on relationships education, debt advice and carers is necessary to bring about an age of responsibility, and to reduce the annual cost of relationships bailout. Strong family and community relations can make people better off financially and socially, and can improve the quality of their lives. Failing relationships drain the resources of public and voluntary services. They cost employers and the wider economy.
Relationships are vital to our wellbeing – increasing health, happiness and life expectancy. But they are also fragile and too easily ignored with devastating consequences.
We are all part of a society that puts the relationships we say are important under intolerable pressure. But we can build a society that sustains relationships by encouraging people to value them, enabling better relationships and the exercise of responsibility within them, and supporting those with few or broken relationships.
In the long-term a society of isolated individuals is neither sustainable nor desirable. Freedom of choice is important. Equality of opportunity is crucial. But the agent that binds these two is the form of right relationships.
PETER LYNAS